Let’s be honest—marriage isn’t always a joyride. Despite what romantic comedies and fairytales might have taught us, there are seasons when marriage feels more like a burden than a blessing. At Live Your Best Marriage, we believe it’s in those moments—when the excitement fades and the reality kicks in—that the meaning of true love and commitment is tested. In this post, we’ll explore why staying when things aren’t fun might be the most loving thing you can do.
The Illusion of Constant Happiness
Many of us grow up believing that marriage is the final step to happiness. We picture cozy dinners, weekend getaways, and uninterrupted harmony. When difficulties arise—stress, miscommunication, unmet expectations—it can feel like something has gone terribly wrong.
But here’s the truth: marriage was never designed to guarantee non-stop happiness. It was designed to grow two people into something stronger—together.
Marriage Is Not a Constant High—And That’s Okay
If you feel like your marriage has “lost the spark,” you’re not alone. Every long-term relationship goes through phases. The early honeymoon stage is often replaced by real-life demands: kids, careers, aging parents, health issues. Fun becomes harder to find—but that doesn’t mean love is gone.
This is where many couples falter. They confuse the absence of fun with the absence of love. But love isn’t always thrilling. Sometimes, it looks like doing dishes when you’re exhausted. Sometimes it’s biting your tongue during an argument. Love is in the staying.
The Rise of Convenient Divorce
One of the reasons the divorce rate remains high is because many people believe leaving is easier than staying. We’re not referring to situations of abuse or neglect—those deserve immediate attention and professional support.
We’re talking about couples who say, “It just wasn’t working anymore,” or “We grew apart.” Sometimes that’s valid, but more often, it’s a cover for giving up when things got hard. When marriage is no longer convenient, some choose escape instead of endurance.
But true love is proven not when it’s easy—but when it’s tough.
Choosing Love Even When It’s Hard
Marriage is a daily decision. You wake up and choose to love the person beside you—whether they made you laugh the night before or drove you up the wall.
Love is not just something you feel; it’s something you do.
Choosing to stay when it’s hard doesn’t make you weak. It makes you brave. It makes you loyal. And it’s often in those low moments that deeper intimacy is born—when you realize that love is deeper than moods and seasons.
Why Your Vows Still Matter
Your vows weren’t made for the easy days. They were made for “for worse,” “in sickness,” and “for poorer.” It’s easy to love when everything’s good—but the real test of character comes when things are falling apart.
When you said “I do,” you made a promise. And while our culture has learned to minimize promises, your vow still matters. It matters to your spouse. It matters to your children. And it matters to you—because integrity means being who you said you would be.
Loyalty Is Love in Action
At Live Your Best Marriage, we believe loyalty is one of the most underrated qualities in a marriage. Loyalty means staying when you could leave. Showing up when you’re not being applauded. Defending your spouse when they’re not around. Being a friend when it’s inconvenient.
Too many people chase a feeling and abandon the person. But loyalty is love in action. It’s what turns an ordinary marriage into an extraordinary legacy.
What to Do When You’re in a “Not Fun” Season
If you’re in a difficult season right now, don’t panic. Don’t assume something is broken. And most of all, don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.
Here are a few steps you can take:
- Talk to your spouse honestly. Share how you’re feeling without placing blame. Use “I” statements and avoid criticism.
- Get support. Whether it’s a marriage counselor, mentor couple, or faith-based group, don’t try to go it alone.
- Recommit. Remind yourself why you got married. Look at old pictures. Revisit your vows.
- Serve each other. Sometimes, love is rekindled not by talking—but by doing. Acts of kindness can rebuild emotional bridges.
- Stay. Unless you are unsafe, staying is a powerful act of love that opens the door to healing and growth.
Marriage Is a Refining Fire
The hard seasons of marriage aren’t punishment—they’re refinement. Like gold in the fire, your marriage can become purer, stronger, and more beautiful if you stay committed and work through the heat together.
You are not alone. Every strong marriage has walked through valleys. The couples who endure didn’t avoid hardship—they faced it together.
The Power of Choosing Each Other Again and Again
There’s something sacred about choosing your spouse again and again—even after you’ve seen their worst. That choice transforms love from a feeling into a force. A force that can weather any storm, rebuild broken trust, and write a story worth telling.
Your marriage matters. Your promises matter. Even when marriage isn’t fun—especially when it isn’t fun—your decision to stay is the most profound act of love you can offer.
Final Encouragement:
If you’re going through a dry season, don’t give up. Your vows were never about ease—they were about endurance. The fun will return. Joy can be rebuilt. Trust can be restored.
And in the process, you might just discover a deeper kind of love—one that fairytales never told you about.
