5 Signs That An Emotional Affair Is Starting
In This Article
There are certain feelings, words and situations that should stay exclusively between a husband
and wife. Unfortunately, it’s fairly easy for the invisible boundary line to be crossed. When this
occurs, it’s referred to as an emotional affair. Here are the 5 signs that an emotional affair is
starting.
Ready to identify your next best step?
The United Front Audit gives you a personalized picture of what needs work - and a clear path forward as a couple.
Take the Audit - It's Free →1. Everyone gets the joke, except for your spouse.
If there is a certain friend or colleague of the opposite sex, whom other teammates are
noticing that you have chemistry with, there’s a problem. Playing “footsie” and flirting on
the job while your spouse isn’t there, is the beginning of a dangerous game.
Saying things to this person that you would never say if you’re spouse was there hearing it,
is an obvious stepping stone from a close call friendship to an emotional affair.
As fellow associates are laughing and egging this on, the person you made a lifetime
promise to, is the last to know.
2. You delete or hide text messages and emails.
Messages you send and receive should be available/open for your spouse to
read at any time. If the topic of conversation is a little too personal, or
you think it could offend your spouse, so you keep it a secret- a line is definitely
being crossed.
Discover what's fueling tension in your marriage
It's rarely just one thing. The United Front Audit maps the pressure points so you know exactly where to focus.
See Your Results →3. You do activities exclusively with this one person.
Going out to lunch as a group, or meeting one on one to discuss business
matters is perfectly okay for married people. However, if two of you are repeatedly
taking your break at the same time together, or conversing in a corner alone – this
person has become too special.
4. They tell you personal info that they haven’t even told their spouse.
Intimacy is a very special bond that a husband and wife share. A deep
closeness occurs when we open up our heart and tell specific information
to only one person, but not to anyone else. Having such conversations with
someone highly regarded as special, whom you are NOT married to, creates
distance between you and your spouse. Side Note: sex is NOT and does NOT
create emotional intimacy.
Not sure what's really going wrong?
The United Front Audit helps you pinpoint exactly where your marriage unity is breaking down - in just 3 minutes.
Take the Free Audit →5. Comparisons and put-downs.
Anytime you find yourself comparing/contrasting your spouse to someone else
you know and admire- be it physically or otherwise- it’s a sign that things at home
aren’t going well. Having respect for others is a very important virtue, but if
you wish your spouse could be more like a certain someone, that’s another story.
Saying or thinking something along the lines of “I wish my husband was more like so and so…”
or, “I wish my wife was as intelligent as so and so…” are clues.
Additionally, being harsh and critical of your spouse’s short coming, will put your
relationship on a downhill trajectory – fast.
If you have noticed even one of these scenarios creeping up in your life, the risk
of an emotional affair starting is there. Be sure to safe guard your
marriage. Your spouse is far more important than anyone else, so don’t let
someone who is less informed come between the two of you.
Keep Reading
COMMUNICATION
Emotional Leadership in Marriage: Caring First Without Becoming a Doormat
Most spouses want peace, closeness, and emotional safety in their marriage. But when conflict happens, many couples feel…
COMMUNICATION
Control Levers in Marriage: The Hidden Ways We Manipulate Instead of Connect
Most couples don’t think of themselves as controlling. They think they’re trying to get through to each other.…
COMMUNICATION
The Repair Leader: How to Initiate a Reset Without Taking All the Blame
A lot of spouses want to lead emotionally - but they’re afraid leadership means admitting fault. So they…