Love is a Choice

We all have the capacity to make good choices or poor choices. We can make loving statements and also we can make critical statements about our spouse. Although not proud of those choices, we seem to justify them at the time. We have also learned to apologize and promise to make better choices next time.

As Gary Chapman says in his book the five love languages, ….love does not erase the past but it makes the future different.

We have to create an emotional climate in our marriage where we can deal with past conflicts and failures.

Meeting my wife’s need for love is a choice I make every day. And according to Gary Chapman, if I know how her primary love language and choose to speak it…. her deepest emotional needs will be met and she will feel secure in my love .
If she does the same for me, my emotional needs are met and both of us live with a full emotional tank. This leaves us in a state of emotional contentment.

Most of us do many things that do not come “naturally” for us. So we can choose to express love in our spouses preferred love language.

Like getting out of bed in the morning, you go against your feelings and get it get out of bed. Why? Because you believe that there is something worthwhile to do that day and normally before the days ends, we feel good about having gotten up.

Our actions preceded our emotions.

The same is true with love, we choose to love our spouse whether or not we feel like it. We are simply choosing to do this for our spouse’s benefit. We want to meet our spouse’s emotional needs. Love is something you do for someone else not something you do for yourself.

So choose to Love

If we do this, the chance that our spouse will reciprocate and love us back increases. And when this happens, Our love tank begins to fill.

Love is a choice and either partner can start the process today.