From Separation to Restoration

During the toughest season in our marriage, I tried so hard to remember the good times, but I couldn’t. 

It’s okay to start over in your marriage. Sometimes you just need to reconnect.

Pursue your spouse every day, the way Christ pursues you.

There’s no shame in needing to re-establish your emotional connection as a couple. We believe in second chances, because God gives us second chances. 

Salvation is not possible without grace, and quite frankly, neither is marriage.

Your marriage can be restored by spending more time together as a couple.

You must believe that your marriage can and will be saved. God can turn it around.

Always remember that your marriage is bigger than the problem, and your marriage can experience healing. Even if your marriage has reached the point of separation, there is still hope for restoration.

Give the brokenness to God, and your marriage will turn around because of Him.

Divorce is simply one more lie from the enemy, telling you it’s the only solution.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending” – C.S. Lewis

Pain in the past doesn’t automatically mean there must be pain in the future. Mistakes were made, but you can move forward without carrying all of the memories and baggage with you, EVEN IF you stay married to the person who caused the pain. Allow yourself to heal. Holding onto hurt, anger, regrets, resentment, and bitterness causes harm to you, more so than anyone else. 

Pray that God will help you forgive your spouse, and that you will no longer carry the burden of the pain they caused. Pray that both of you can forgive one another.

This is not to say that your spouse shouldn’t take responsibility for their sin, because they SHOULD.

As I had mentioned in the other email, I talked about divorce constantly when I had postpartum depression. PPD was intense for me, and made me want to go back in time. I wanted to go back and decide NOT to marry my husband. Consumed by anger and bitterness, I wanted to go back and change the beginning, not realizing the amazing possibilities of the future. It was almost as if I had no understanding of grace, and the littlest things my husband said and did made me angry. 

Staying together has been so much better than going solo would have ever been for me. 

I want my relationship with my spouse to be more Christ-like, and less like the world.

Each day, is a brand new beginning. Start over – together. 

The past does not determine your future. You can begin fresh. Healing may take time, but the two of you can work through it as a couple.

The more you love and seek God, the more you’ll be able to love, forgive and pursue your spouse.

No one should ever tell you that you’re not capable of moving forward, improving, changing, or getting better. Your spouse also has what it takes to change, and to get better, too. It might not happen overnight, but there is hope, and it is possible.

Start spending more time together as a couple. Spend more time going places together, having fun, as well as spending more time in the word of God together. Strengthen your bond by rebuilding your relationship one piece at a time, one day at a time.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26

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