When my husband asks me why I’m acting so upset, I usually think: because you deserve it. However, if I choose to look at it that way, it makes it as though he has earned himself a punishment. My husband is not a child needing to be disciplined. When your spouse says or does something that makes you angry, or frustrated, they are really just showing that they are human. Although, it’s important for you to let them know how you feel, and what they can do to fix it, try to avoid staying stuck on that issue.
Delaying forgiveness prevents you from moving on, thus making it take longer for your relationship to heal. It’s unfair for me to think I have the authority to expect my husband to live up to a code of behavior that I created. What’s even more unfair, is for me to withhold affection or temporarily “switch off” the admiration I feel toward him simply because he didn’t obey my rules. Over time, this could naturally lead to reciprocation on his side of it. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I really wouldn’t want to be held to those high standards and get in trouble for disobeying.
Handling the everyday ups and downs of being married is challenging. Anyone could tell you that. Realistically, not every moment in your relationship will happen exactly the way you imagined it should. Attitude has a lot to do with it – nothing is good or bad until you make it so. The trap that bitterness and retaliation creates, can lead us to believe that our own behavior is superior to that of our spouse.
So, what’s the best available option? Love him anyway. He’s valuable enough to be loved with or without his flaws and mistakes. Does he matter enough? Is he special enough? The answer is yes, he is. He’s a human being who happens to have more good qualities than bad, and he’s also your husband. Yours and no one else’s. Cherish him.
