4 Action Steps to a Better Marriage

If you and your spouse are not on great terms right now, instead of using precious time thinking about why it’s going south, start doing things to improve it. With a little effort and a lot of action, you’ll begin to notice an incredible change. Here are 4 action steps to a better marriage immediately.

1.Weekly Date Night

Go for a date once a week. Choose a particular evening of the week and set it in stone on your calendar. (If you are not able to repeat the exact same night every week in a row, make it absolutely mandatory to squeeze in a lunch or dinner outing at some point every seven days). Even if the two of you are fighting that day, “date night” should go on as normal- no cancellation. No matter how bad your mood is, it’s likely to change once you arrive at your destination. The restaurants don’t have to be expensive, but be willing to spend some money on your marriage. The purpose of this is to give the two of you time to enjoy chit-chat together and experience new environments together. Also, by making this a done deal on your weekly calendar, it reinforces the fact that your marriage is a top priority for both of you. It won’t take long until it becomes your favorite day of the week, and you look forward to it.

2. Text Your Spouse

At least once a day, send a sweet text to your spouse. It must be something extra, besides the usual “the kids need to be picked up from soccer”. Send “thank you for doing…” and “love u” every day. Some opposite sex friends and co-workers won’t hesitate to drop an email or a text to your spouse saying “miss ya” and “thank you!!!!”. You should also make it a point to send a selfie, once every couple of weeks. In the midst of all of the notifications your spouse receives throughout the course of a day, yours need to be the strongest and most affectionate.

3. Have sex more often

As I mentioned above, if you and your spouse are not on good terms, what you need is action. One of you will have to initiate. Don’t allow anger and resentment to keep you from enjoying this special time together. Feeling hurt may make the two of you avoid sex, or feeling tired may make you dread it. At first, you won’t have the mood or the energy for it, but eventually the two of you will look forward to having sex. A minimum of once a week helps prevent the development of feelings for someone outside the marriage. The Bible also encourages husbands and wives to have sex more often. “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. 1 Corinthians 7:5.

4. Complete a Task together

Bonding in marriage happens when the two of you feel as though you’re on the same team. Completing tasks separately leads to, well, you guessed it: separateness. Doing dishes together once or twice a week, or one spouse loading the dishwasher while the other cooks dinner, really is a fantastic way to feel connected. At our house, giving the baby a bath together has given us an amazing experience of teamwork. Also, when my husband knows I’m in the middle of something, and he changes the baby’s diaper, I feel as though I have his much needed support. Any household task you would like help with is a great place to start. Many opposite sex co-workers help to finish projects in the office or various tasks on the job. Sadly, a lot of workplace affairs started because they felt a strong connection, or bond, during their busiest days on the job. So, why can’t husbands and wives do the same thing at home?

You may not feel like beginning to use the suggestions above, but once you stop thinking about it and start doing; your feelings will change. Please, give each a try.