Your marriage may be the most vulnerable when close call friendships start creeping in. Here are four signs to be on the lookout for.
1. You look forward to seeing that person more than your spouse.
Before you leave for work there’s chaos at home. In the evening when you come back the chaos continues. When you work with someone or perhaps volunteer, have a hobby with or play a coed sport you may look forward to speaking to that person because you feel as though you can finally talk about the things that interest you. If both of you are involved in the same career path or share a hobby, you may be spending more time together. This can draw you closer, thinking perhaps you have more in common than you do with your own spouse. However while you are participating in these job or activities, your spouse is away doing their part perhaps working at their own job or taking care of the children. When you begin looking forward to seeing someone outside of your marriage, it can lead you down a dangerous path.
2.You save conversations especially for “your special someone”.
If you save exciting conversations for your special friend and not your spouse,you are drifting down a dangerous road. In essence you are breaking boundaries in your marriage.
3.Being overly concerned about your friend’s welfare.
When you see them in the morning questions like “How did you sleep?” or “How’s your day going so far?” This question might send the wrong message and a way overly concern yourself in the affairs of others.
4.You share or allow your special friend to share relationship difficulties with you.
That not only puts your spouse in a negative light but it puts you and your friend closer. Your spouse is basically being blocked out, while you are sharing information meant to be private. Although marital disagreements are inevitable, it’s still possible to be happily married as no one is either all bad or all good after all. No matter how difficult things may be right now, your spouse has invested in you. They married you. Close call friends however don’t invest in you now and probably never will.
For information about this topic check out Boundaries by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Also Close Calls by Dave M. Carder
